Fringe Festival - Benn Fogg

Before going to the Fringe I had never heard of Benn Fogg. My mum and I arrived at the Fringe for the day as I had friends whose shows I was determined to see before the Fringe ended. As these shows were late at night we were staying overnight but leaving early in the morning (I took the day off work so we could spend the day but Mum was determined to be back at work the next day). We arrived around two and spent a few hours trying to decide what else we should see but we couldn’t find anything that one, was free and two, was showing on a Sunday and hadn’t yet started. Not finding anything we walked down the Royal Mile towards Holyrood we were stopped by someone with a flyer saying that there was a show just starting we should go and see. Unfortunately there were no entry tickets left by the time we got there and so we walked back dejected.

On the way back up the royal mile we spotted a sign saying Fringe Venue – Comedy Shows downstairs. This was quite misleading as when we went to investigate it was not in fact downstairs it was down an alleyway. I looked into the New Waverly Arches when I saw a comedian who looked like something out of the Big Bang Theory complete with a purple headband talking to an audience. He called out to me to come in and informed me that I wasn’t late for the show.

I have to admit from what he was wearing I really didn’t expect it to be good and talking to my mum afterwards she felt the same. Leaving the show however I was crying with laughter and my cheeks were sore from laughing. Most of his set wasn’t part of the show at all. It was mostly preamble before the show. He has a great way of interacting with the audience and making them feel at ease. The room itself added to this atmosphere as it was old cave style walls and quite small and intimate. He focuses on joyful things in his life instead of complaining about life but he is not afraid to poke fun at himself either.

If you are going to the Fringe this year I would definitely make time to go and see his show and if you’re not going he also live streams his shows to Periscope which is not really as good as being there in person as a lot of his act is taken from interacting with the audience but still worth the watch.

Benn Fogg is at the New Waverly Arches on 7-11, 13-18, 20-25, 27-30 Aug 2015 at 4:45pm

Creative Writing Series 8

8.     The first day of school, a love note, and a recipe with a significant mistake.

It was my first day of school today. My brothers are in big school now so they aren’t coming with me. Daddy took them to school in the car. Mummy and I walked to school.

My new school is down the lane and around the corner. Mummy says it only takes five minutes to walk there. She wouldn’t come into the gates with me cos she said it wasn’t allowed.

I didn’t want to leave Mummy but the teacher made me line up with everyone else. I was crying and screaming for my Mummy.

The teacher led all of us into the school and to our classroom. The teacher’s name was Miss Roma and we had to call her Miss Roma or Miss. She told us that while we were here we had to follow the rules like, no hitting or calling names and if we wanted to speak we had to put our hand up in the air till the teacher said we could speak.

If it got too loud we had to cross our arms across our chest and copy the teacher when she put her finger on her lips.

For today Miss Roma gave us all pictures of boots and we had to colour them in in different patterns that she put on the board. Then Miss Roma took out a big picture book and read to us about an owl learning to fly.

I made friends with Karen. She’s from China. She is smaller than everyone else and has short straight black hair. At break and lunch we played chases. I lost. I don’t really like chases but everyone else does.

After school Mummy was at the gates to come get me but she took ages talking to Karen’s mum at the gates. Karen’s mum wasn’t from China. She brought Karen back from China when she decided to be Karen’s mummy. Mummy says that in China people are only allowed to have one baby and they want boys, not girls, so lots of girls are given away.

I tried to get Mummy to come home faster but she just got angry and told me to stop pulling or she wouldn’t let me play my playstation when I got home. I stopped so when we got home I got to play my playstation before my brothers came home.

When we got home Daddy had left Mummy a note which made her smile and laugh. She wouldn’t tell me what was funny but she said Daddy was coming home with my brothers and he was going to make our tea.

Daddy came home and started making dinner. My brothers were being mean and took my controller so I couldn’t play my game anymore. Mummy didn’t help. She said I had had my turn and it was their turn now.

I played with my legos till dinner. Daddy made curry from scratch but when I took a bite it was horrible. It was really hot and not nice at all. My brothers and Mummy didn’t like it either.

Mummy took our plates and threw our dinners in the bin. She didn’t take Daddy’s plate.

Mummy is phoning the chip shop now.

We’re having pizza!

Daddy isn’t allowed any. He’s having yucky curry.

Creative Writing Series 7

7.     An annoying boss, a bikini, and a fake illness.

 

Today was a bright sunny day. Rare for mid April in Scotland. Even rarer was the heat that came with the sunshine. Unfortunately I was supposed to be going into work today.

However what with the sun being out and the scorching heat I didn’t want to be stuck in a stuffy dingy office with the blinds drawn, staring at a computer screen. So the inevitable phone call was made.

“Hi…yeah, John? It’s Marie… I won’t be coming into work today…No it’s probably just food poisoning…shouldn’t last for more than a day or so…I can barely get out of bed…Thanks John! You’re a star! ...Bye.” Complete with coughs and splutters to make it authentic.

Phone call made I set to work. Sun tan lotion, bikini, towels, picnic. All ready for the sun. I packed up my car and drove to the beach. I drove to Salcoats which is about an hours drive from my home and found a sandy beach.

The beach was packed with children, dogs and other sunbathers. I found myself a spot and lay out on my towel with my sunglasses.

I was halfway dosing when a shadow came over me. I slowly opened my eyes to reveal my boss, John looming over me with a not so amused expression on his face.

“Food poisoning?...Can barely leave your bed? You look alright to me!”